Mental Discipline Journal 5, in which Cerridwen throws down the gauntlet

This is my last mental discipline journal for my DP documentation, so I’ll dwell a bit on my progress over the five months and some thoughts on future directions.

First things first, however, so here is my journal for the past month.  I have been keeping up with my morning devotionals and their associated meditations.  They continue to help me ground for the day ahead.  My time spent doing lengthier meditations has continued to decline since the summer, but I have been trying a few other techniques.  For instance, I have now taken a couple of ‘trance drumming’ workshops with David Turner so have tried working on that a bit, although I am frankly not very good with my djembe so it is going to take a while.

Looking back over the last five months of working on this journal, however, I think that I can say that I have made real progress on the goals that I set out for myself.  I wanted specifically to gain control over certain emotional triggers which had the potential to sabotage me and interfere with my life, and which were simply increasing my daily stress level.  I feel that I have largely achieved this and am very happy with this fact.

That said, I do see some new challenges for the future.  On Samhain I performed a somewhat more elaborate version of my daily devotional, and in the middle of it I decided to take an omen – very unusual for me since I have really not yet spent the effort to develop divination skills so I usually leave these to others.  Nonetheless, I grabbed my Dali tarot deck and asked Cerridwen to give me an omen regarding my path.  I then drew three cards.  The results were… well, mixed, but one of the cards was the Page of Cups.  In my limited experience I understand this to mean that the asker should engage in some deep, emotional reflection.  This gave me pause to reflect that my meditation practice has thus far always been about finding my inner stillness and bringing the emotionless calm that comes with it into my everyday life.  What I believe is the next step for me is to move away from the path of the Zen Buddhist monk and his quiet pursuit of self-realization and instead explore the path of the Shaman, who seeks not the self but rather to open himself up to the voices of the Gods.

A tall order indeed for me, I think, but who said that Druidry would be easy?

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